That Manly Man Feeling
I’m feeling rather manly-man today thanks to YouTube.
I replaced the broken handle on my favorite sledge hammer and split some logs for firewood. I was having a big, Little House on the Prairie moment. Funny how doing something physical always raises one’s testosterone level a few notches.
That sledge hammer has sat dejected and sadly broken in my garage for a couple of years. But, it’s New Year’s Day and with my striving to fight off the sedentary life, I picked up a fine hardwood handle at Lowes and headed home to fix it and get after the wood pile. Then, I realized, I have no idea how to secure that sledge hammer to the handle.
No problem, that’s what YouTube is for.
YouTube, and Dads. Being manly, fixing something broken was one of my father’s strengths. He could fix anything. Plumbing, carpentry, mechanical, he could do it, and he was only a phone call away.
But no more; He died on the eve of Father’s day this past June. I loved my father and notice his absence especially when facing some household repair project like replacing the washers in the shower faucet, or fixing a broken handle for some farm implement. I miss him. He was the man. If it was broke, he could fix it.
Now that he’s gone, when something breaks my first thought is, “Who’ll fix that now that my dad is gone?” My next thought is not necessarily given voice, but nevertheless lurks in the back of my mind: “I don’t have what it takes.” Or rather, “Do I have what it takes?”
I argued with that voice today.
I felt confident in my resolve to fix the sledge hammer until I realized, I have no idea how to keep the hammer from flying off the handle. No sweat. I typed in the magic words for YouTube and found the answer to that all-important question, “how do I fix this?” I got my answer. Simple. Straight from the oracle of all knowledge.
Sadly though, YouTube can’t answer all the questions of life.
Here’s one I just can’t seem to find on YouTube, “Now that my dad is gone, do I have what it takes to be a man?” not the manly-man, macho-man type, instead, “do I have what it takes to walk the road of life with grace, bearing and a confidence that I can handle all that life hands me, and eventually when it comes my time to die, do that with the same dignity that he did?” That’s a question only answered by real flesh and blood, face to face relationships with others.